Falling Man by Dom Delillo

"The noise was unbearable, alternating between the banging shattering sound and an electronic pulse of varied pitch."

I'm currently catching up on reviews of books that I've read this year. Reading about nine eleven around the turmoil of the bushfires was difficult. Writing about it mid Corona craziness seems even more difficult.

I get the feeling that the best antidote from a literary perspective is something far more escapist. That being said, there is something cathartic about this work and it is, of course, fantastically written.

This is an uncomfortable read that left me feeling that cold sensation that a horrific memory leaves behind. In these troubled times maybe it serves as a sign that tragedy and uncertainty can be overcome in time.

4 out of 5 - maybe leave this one for less troubled times.

Strait is the Gate by André Gide

"I meant to fall on my knees before her; I took a step which she heard."

It is fine to love your cousin - but not to Love your cousin; if you catch my meaning. This is a strange tale translated from the French and it is on just about every must-read list there is.

There are moments of beautiful prose but ultimately I was a little unmoved. Everyone loves someone they shouldn't, life is hard, people suffer and then there's death: now if that synopsis has you gravitating towards this, well... more power to you.

I think sometimes these kinds of stories appeal more to someone younger, particularly when I flash back to my early teens and my fixation with Flowers in the Attic (like just about every other girl I knew at that time). This shares the overblown emotional weight of the teenage years, mixed with escaping the pull of hormones through a combination of religion and guilt.  Sexual awakening is a frightening prospect, this is why boy bands remain so popular.

What this slim novella does show is the propensity for children to rebel against their parents by becoming their opposite. Alissa's religious zealotry begins in reaction to her mother's sinful behaviour and is not the path to a happy, healthy life.

4/5 - Courtly love is a drag.

The Child in Time by Ian McEwan

“Only when you are grown up, perhaps only when you have children yourself, do you fully understand that your own parents had a full and intricate existence before you were born.” 

I almost take a deep breath before I start one of McEwan's tales. There is the sense of foreboding that emotional torture lies ahead. The Child in Time is true to form in that regard.

Stephen is broken by the disappearance of his young child, Kate. His marriage seems irrevocably damaged by that life changing event. An event that haunts him through his membership of a committee on child care.

As always, McEwan crafts beautiful sentences that have an almost poetic quality and yet I feel I should've  saved this for a time when I was feeling more upbeat because I knew it would be a downer.


4 out of 5 times I visited the supermarket with Mum she would lose me.

Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

"Richard was surprised when he heard the announcement that the federal government had declared a policy action to bring the rebels to order. Kainene was not."

I have to admit to being completely oblivious to this period of history. I was unfamiliar with Nigeria's history and I always admire a book that enlivens otherwise hidden periods of history to my sheltered world. I'd previously read Americanah  by the same author and enjoyed it immensely, so I was intrigued to explore her Bailey Women's Prize winning novel.

There are some harrowing scenes in this novel which are not easily erased. A particular rape scene comes to mind and it is all the more disturbing because both the transgressor and the victim seem like victims - no-one is innocent in war. This is a world gone mad and the insanity has a body count.

Sadly, this could be anywhere in the world.We are always one step away from being educated and informed and then regressing into violence. Even when the ideals are revolution for better conditions, the outcomes can be catastrophic. The pacing here is masterful and you will be drawn in despite your reservations about much of the action.

5 out of 5 - If we don't learn history we are doomed.

The Immoralist by Andre Gide

“To know how to free oneself is nothing; the arduous thing is to know what to do with one’s freedom.”

What to say about this one? It is a weird one to say the least. Talk about awkward relationships. Michel falls for the almost flawless Marceline and marries her but seems way more interested in the many attractive men that they happen upon in their travels. Certainly there is this air of frustration as Michel seems closeted but unaware that homosexuality is an option. 

His relationships with young boys is also problematic as the language verges on lascivious despite nothing untoward eventuating. The introduction describes Michel as being in love with himself;  and yet the tale unfolds in a way to describe Michel's ever increasing desire for intimacy and confusion as his feelings do not seem to fit the accepted norms of the time.

Word choices are rather fecund, providing an additional sense that something earthy is going on beneath the surface. Michel is recovering from illness, growing his hair long and questioning his  sense of self. Marceline  loves Michel "too much to see me as I was" and therein lies the crux of the novel - Michel's inner confusion is almost invisible to the loving eyes of his wife.

His aims to settle on a farm with his pregnant wife are rather disastrous.Her deteriorating health leaves Michel describing his poor wife as "spoiled" - what a charmer. Queue more travels for health reasons and other drama - I think I'll leave the rest for you to read as this is a very short novella ( and freely available online).

3 out of 5 - Tuberculosis seems like a horrible bloody way to die.

The Devil in the Flesh by Raymond Radiguet

“The flavour of that first kiss disappointed me, like fruit you taste for the first time. It's not in new things that we experience the greatest pleasure, but in habit.”

This is a tale of around 200 pages that took me a year to finish. Why? Well may you ask. 

Having studied French at University many years ago, I thought it might be interesting to read this in its native language. My first mistake was trying to do so on my mobile phone. While I began reading in January and had only slightly progressed, it seemed sensible in November to abort my original idea and just read the story in English.

Interesting things that I noticed were the original language seemed so much more dense, funnier and interesting. Somethings got lost in translation. Admittedly my translation skills were somewhat below par so I had quite a few questions that the English version ironed out for me, and yet I really noticed how the colour dissipated somewhat in switching from French to English. Like watching a colour movie on a black and white television.

A teenager falls for this older girl who is engaged to someone else. Her fiancee goes off to war and he moves on in. Their passion is all consuming and while they initially try to keep things hidden, a pregnancy is just one reason to up the stakes. I love this guardian review that describes the narrator as “a very self -aware little shit”, his behaviour was so irritating. He claimed to be all consumed with love for a women he continually puts at risk. The humour can be found in his florid protestations of passion and moral dilemmas which don’t really ring true based upon his actions.

In any case, this had some entertaining moments but I’m not sure that justified almost a year’s worth of angst in trying to read it in the original language.

 4 out of 5 

The Body Artist by Don Delillo

"It was who he was in the dark, cigarettes and mumbled sleep and a hundred other things nameable and not."

For a particularly slim novel there is a denseness in the text that required me to re-read this immediately after I had finished it. There are beautiful sentences, like the one that I've quoted above, which are almost poetic in how much they convey. You get a real sense of intimacy and the void created when a partner is no longer there.

My enjoyment of the novel was hampered a little by the fact that I had to read it twice, it isn't a quick, easy read as you might suspect should you see it on a shelf. Who is the mystery figure that appears - is he a ghost, is he imagined?  or is he a performance piece? I have so many questions.I could read it any of those ways and yet it still works.

4 out of 5 misery loves mysterious company.

Enduring Love by Ian McEwan

“Self-consciousness is the destroyer of erotic joy.”

This is not my favourite McEwan work and I think that’s because I’m just not in the mood for torture at the moment. A couple are swept into a horrendous occurrence and the fallout is strange to say the least. Tragedy, obsession, this slim volume has all of that in spades, and perhaps that was what I found so difficult to deal with.

Running to help save a young boy from a ballooning accident, the protagonist locks eyes with another man and further drama ensues as the second man becomes obsessed with him. I’d had a hard week and this ‘debbie downer’ of a novel really wasn’t the antidote. I’m sure I’ll re-read it some other time and review it more favourably. It contains some really stunning writing that I just wasn’t in the mood for. For now, I think I need something more upbeat.

4 out of 5 what comes up must deflate.

The Summer Book by Tove Jansson

"The sea was as smooth as oil, and so pale you could hardly tell it was blue."

Sitting on a sofa looking out at the ocean from a blissful island in Fiji, accompanied by this beautiful little book, I encountered a few moments of perfect happiness. The slim volume belies perfection.

A young girl's mother has died and she goes to stay with her grandmother on an island in Finland in summer. Her grandmother is a character that is a delight and reminded me of how much I miss and loved my Nonna. 

How to describe this book? Yes, its from the creator of the Moomintrolls which I loved as a kid and yet, this is a book created for adults. Nevertheless, it perfectly captures the inquisitiveness of youth and the beauty of summer.

Reading it is like diving under a wave at the beach or feeling the last rays of warmth tease your skin on a balmy afternoon. Clearly it was the perfect beach read and I'm glad I packed it. If I had children, this is what I would read to them, so they too would feel the implied hug that it gives.

 5 out of 5 grannies rock.

Youth by J.M.Coetzee

"For just as the spirit of the artist is both flame and fever, so the woman who longs to be licked by tongues of flame will at the same time do her best to quench the fever and bring down the artist to common ground."

It is somewhat remarkable that such a slim volume fits so much in. I literally tore through this and part of it, I have to admit, was 'hate' reading. You know that feeling when you detest a character so much and yet you are fascinated by them? That's what happened here for me. The narrator is, to be honest, a bit of a dick. He is emotionally removed from the women he hooks up with and so caught up in his own story as if to be an almost a non-entity.

His notion of literary greatness and the requirements of achieving it, his immense distaste for his origins and his family are disturbing. I guess one of the most worrying elements is how much his self absorbed, self-loathing is at times repulsive, and at others familiar. Particularly for someone like me that always had the feeling they were a square peg in a round hole. That can easily verge on self indulgent.

This tale of a young would-be literary giant leaving his origins in South Africa far behind with an attempt at reinvention in London in the 60s is so well realised. I was there, I experienced the feelings, or lack there of. This is pretty amazing writing, despite me really not loving the frustration of the subject matter.  It is a frustration we all feel at some time or another and feel so vividly in youth. Hence, why this book gets top marks from me and why the title is so apt.

5 out of 5 frustrated writers are self flagellating.

H(a)ppy by Nicola Barker

“And yet ever since I have been composing the song — The New Song — I find it difficult to think about anything else.”

Sometimes you read a book and its startling originality really sets it apart. This is one of those instances. I’m loathe to describe it because it is equal parts weird and seductive. I was drawn in by the frenetic typography, including the odd splashes of colour and insanity wrought visually on the page.

If you seek a reassuringly straight narrative voice this is not the book for you. If you feel like hanging out in an alternate reality, well this might be more your speed. It was rather difficult to secure a copy and its price is reflective of a really gorgeous looking book. The cover is reminiscent of Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss and the psychedelic prose is captivating. No wonder this tale was included in the latest edition of the 1001 Novels you should read before you die list. That ticks a lot of boxes for me as I’m running behind on ticking off all the books on the list and the total list keeps getting longer with every edition.

I’m lost for words for a change. Not sure what more I can say. Reading a review online convinced me that I’m not the only one. I’d be interested to hear others’ views on the topic.

5 out of 5 weirdness awaits.

The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst

"The feel of his warm hard body under the silky shirt was almost worryingly beautiful, a promise too lavish to believe in."

This novel has been sitting on my shelf awaiting my attention for a year or so now. I was initially put off by its girth. I've had a short attention span of late and was reticent to launch into something sizeable. I noted however that The Line of Beauty  is included on a lot of must read lists and so my rubber arm was twisted.

There was something so perfect about launching into a lengthy tale about a young man who is really a fish out of water in the cocaine fuelled years before AIDS began to take a hefty toll during the four hour process of turning blonde again ( with eighties bangs to boot). Set in the upper class echelons of the British ruling class, the protagonist is very much an outsider. Nick Guest is a young guy with rather well to do friends, who have helpfully let a room to him while he's at university. As he grows into himself the sense of difference and inclusion is a weird one. That sense of being in but out is one I could always relate to.

Sure it was a little awkward as the foils went in, I was worried my hairdresser could read the gay sex scenes, or the cocaine snorting depictions, over my shoulder, or  perhaps more upsettingly, the words Margaret Thatcher. Hollinghurst is a beautiful writer and the entire novel just seemed to fly by.

I'm not sure I've enlightened you too much today with this discussion. I'm a bit tired - summer is so draining. In short, there is a reason why this novel is so well-regarded, it is a great read.

5 out of 5 - I am killing the 1001 list at the moment.

The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan

“She loved him, though not at this particular moment.”

How to describe this moody and depressing novella? Well on the plus side, it's inclusion on the 1001 books you must read before you die list makes it a must read for this completer of lists. On the negative, well it is inherently negative.

A couple that have very much morphed into an almost asexual relationship take a vacation. While unnamed you can't help but be convinced they are in Venice. Indeed it reminded me of a particularly unromantic stay there with the former bane of my existence. A chance meeting with a local owner of a bar, Robert, sends the story on a weird tangent.

Is Robert hitting on Colin? He's certainly been hitting his wife.

That is the least disturbing thing that occurs. Things are about to get bat shit crazy before the end of this slim volume. I guarantee  that you will however, keep reading to the end. Enjoyment is unlikely to be found.

3 out of 5 holiday experiences can be harrowing.

H is for Hawke by Helen Macdonald

"I was twelve years old when I first saw a trained goshawk."

Here is a book that won a raft of awards and was one of those ubiquitous titles in every bookstore upon its release. I'd put off actually reading it for a few years on the basis that I didn't think training a hawk would be all that interesting. I was wrong.

I wasn't expecting a mix of misery, literature and hunting that actually works as a novel. Unexpectedly this is a bit of a gem and reflects all the glowing reviews. Is it perfect? I don't think so, there were moments where the pace lagged and my interest started to wane. Yet eventually, I was drawn back in and that says a lot about its delivery.

Upon closing the last page, I wondered where I could get myself a copy of T H White's The Goshawk.  It made me reflect on the nature of pets and how they become an avatar of their owner ( or vice versa). The protagonist becomes hawk-like in her obsessions, much like you see owners who resemble their dogs. It is a fascinating conceit.

If you're feeling down and like wallowing in literature and birds of prey, then this is definitely your cup of tea. For many I suspect reading this will be an usual and memorable experience, even if I wasn't one hundred percent on board throughout. I guarantee if you read this you will find yourself googling Goshawks on more than one occasion.

4 out of 5 birds of prey are flying high.



10:04 by Ben Lerner

"What could be more contaminating than this remote control, which had been in how many sullied hands?"

I am completely torn on this one. Is it brilliant, annoying, or both? Probably both. The novel about a writer in New York suffering from a heart condition and also trying to help his best friend out by fathering her baby is verbose in the extreme. You can almost feel yourself trapped inside his head with thoughts flying around. Stream of consciousness writing bombards the page ( or in my case, in this instance, the e-book page - is it still a page?).

There are moments where this in-depth analysis of every move (every sight, every action)really works. Other moments where it seemed, to this reader at any rate, somewhat self-indulgent and annoying. What it does represent for me is, thankfully, another tick off the 1001 novels list - this one having been recently added to the fold in the latest 2018 edition.

Life is fleeting, maybe it is the minutiae that is important. For some reason the scene where the protagonist babysits a kid at the natural history museum and is desperate to use the loo, but not to leave the child, is one of the more memorable moments. That and the trip to the semen collection facility with the focus on hand washing and panic about the potential impact of Viagra. There's something infuriatingly infantile about him, as though he has zero agency and has to be pushed in any direction of note, or perhaps I'm projecting because of the author's first name.

4 out of 5 - don't drug the pigeons.

A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines

"And the hawk, alert to every movement, returned their stares until they turned away and passed on."

Life is pretty grim for our poor protagonist, Billy Casper in a poor English mining village. His one joy is tending for the kestrel that he has stolen from its nest. School is hell, and home isn’t much better. This is not the kind of read that will cheer you up my friends. Thankfully it is a very quick read, as I am currently not in the mood for suffering of any kind. Right now I love fiction that transports me to other worlds or happier ones at any rate.

His mother is powerless, his father is absent, and his brother is a horror. In fact, reading about his brother just made me super angry. Not crazily so as I was sitting in the GP’s office and apparently my blood pressure is just fine thanks for asking.

I’m waffling, aren’t I? I think this novel brilliantly captures a torturous upbringing and a feeling of being without options. The sense of purpose and joy posed by a pet brings only momentary respite and as you might imagine, and the ending did not inspire further joy. Having done such a brilliant job of writing this novel, I probably owe the writer the full five star rating and yet, it left me so glum that I had to deduct a point.



4 out of 5 birds can sometimes make you soar.

Amok by Stefan Zweig

"Once more he gave me a derisive, indeed challenging look, but I felt that it was really only in shame, endless shame."

So, last night, before I started reading this, I was watching Samantha Bee lament the possibility of Roe Vs Wade bring overturned. Now, I don't live in the U.S.A, but the erosion of a female's ability to control her life is something of the utmost concern to me as a woman. Admittedly, I'm reaching the part of my life where control over reproduction isn't so much a personal issue, yet it is a shared concern for an equal society for all.

Clearly I digress in relation to this short tale, and yet it does frame my response to it.

Here we have a Doctor riddled with guilt recounting his tale to a man on a cruise ship in the dark of night, when all good inner turmoil is best dealt with, and over a stiff drink - naturally.

The depth of guilt and concern that rocks the man, as he recounts his initial rejection of assistance to a woman seeking an abortion, and its unpleasant aftermath is interesting. Interesting particularly because a tale published in 1922 ( yes, that's right, the twenties) can still resonate today. This is a tale of shame and maintaining personal reputation over the value of life itself. A lack of choice that women were faced with for centuries and risk facing again.

Personally, I feel those "pro-life" stalwarts should question their connection with a life unrealised versus a potential loss of life for someone already living. For that is the real and horrid choice that women have faced for eons  - a definite lack of control.

The title reflects the state of mind that impacts the Doctor, somewhat out of the blue. However to "run amok" could equally apply to some of the current craziness we see in modern politics, unduly influenced by religious fervour. Zweig poses a moral quandary where compliance with the accepted "pro-life," religiously based, moral choice leads to an outcome which is the opposite of being 'for life' and clearly is against. It is an interesting illustration of the central tension.

What an amazing writer to illicit such an emotional response with such sturdy prose, decades after it was written. He displays an economy of words that transcend the circumstances of the day and retain a timeless quality that is to be applauded.

5 out of 5, strange tales are told on deck. 

Saturday by Ian McEwan

"Henry can't resist the urgency of his cases, or deny the egotistical joy in his own skills, or the pleasure he still takes in the relief of the relatives when he comes down from the operating room like a god, an angle with the glad tidings – life, not death."

This was one of those occasions where I made the mistake of purchasing the e-book rather than the physical variety. I wish I hadn't. This was so great that it really deserved sharing. There is so much going on here in so few pages, it is expertly rendered and almost poetic in its depth.

One of the more unexpected notes is the literary references which pepper a novel about a neurosurgeon. It is really interesting to see the interactions within a family peopled by the artistic, creative types - Hugo the musician, Daisy the poet; and the practical - Henry the surgeon and his wife , the journalist, a chronicler of facts. It was almost hand crafted for someone trying to finish the 1001 list of novels to read before you die ( hello – that's totally me!).

It is amazing how McEwan captures the heightened sensations of a post 9-11 world, coupled with much more immediate threats of violence. This book has non-stop thrills and spills that have your heart beating at a faster pace, while it also tugs at your fears about ageing and dementia.  How can so much fit within such a slim volume? It truly is a masterpiece.

I feel it would be terribly mean of me to give away the main action, other than to say it is gripping and you definitely need to get yourself a copy. Energy, suspense, depth of feeling, this one has it all.

5 out of 5 this one really spoke to me.

Winter by Ali Smith

"In the middle of the night Art wakes up from a  dream."

This one was a bit of a slow burn that paid dividends at the end. For a while I was fumbling around with the discombobulated head before it all came together in a glorious fashion. I remember enjoying Autumn more, the whole way through and I'd been chomping at the bit to get my teeth into this next instalment. 

When all the disparate threads combine it does become a beautiful tapestry and one that I implore you explore. Ali Smith is a bit of genius with words, but you don't need me to tell you that.

I love the exploration of the real versus the fake and the lies we tell between family members. These themes are fabulously fleshed out within these pages. Crack open a copy you won't be disappointed.


5 out of 5, winter is cold, and yet this novel warms my heart.

The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan

"It was not long before the kitchen was a place of stench and clouds of flies."

Dead bodies and incest, yet this is quite the cheerful read - I'm being facetious. Published in 1978 the central action is, as someone noted on www.goodreads.com, reminiscent of Flowers in the Attic. Think that mixed with a side of Stephen King and you'd be right on the money.

I was reading this on the train on my phone, it is relatively short and yet one feels rather awkward when the content includes sibling sex and rotting corpses - gross on all fronts.

Fortunately it is well written and constitutes yet another tick on the 1001 books to read before you die list...hurrah!

4 out of 5 times when the parents away the kids will play.