The Immoralist by Andre Gide

“To know how to free oneself is nothing; the arduous thing is to know what to do with one’s freedom.”

What to say about this one? It is a weird one to say the least. Talk about awkward relationships. Michel falls for the almost flawless Marceline and marries her but seems way more interested in the many attractive men that they happen upon in their travels. Certainly there is this air of frustration as Michel seems closeted but unaware that homosexuality is an option. 

His relationships with young boys is also problematic as the language verges on lascivious despite nothing untoward eventuating. The introduction describes Michel as being in love with himself;  and yet the tale unfolds in a way to describe Michel's ever increasing desire for intimacy and confusion as his feelings do not seem to fit the accepted norms of the time.

Word choices are rather fecund, providing an additional sense that something earthy is going on beneath the surface. Michel is recovering from illness, growing his hair long and questioning his  sense of self. Marceline  loves Michel "too much to see me as I was" and therein lies the crux of the novel - Michel's inner confusion is almost invisible to the loving eyes of his wife.

His aims to settle on a farm with his pregnant wife are rather disastrous.Her deteriorating health leaves Michel describing his poor wife as "spoiled" - what a charmer. Queue more travels for health reasons and other drama - I think I'll leave the rest for you to read as this is a very short novella ( and freely available online).

3 out of 5 - Tuberculosis seems like a horrible bloody way to die.

Rabbit, Run by John Updike

"That was the thing about him, he just lived in his skin and didn't give a thought to the consequences of anything"

I was really reticent to read this novel, having read somewhere about the rather depressing denouement and yet, given its place on so many "must read" lists, I cracked the spine. Much has been said about how horrible a character Rabbit is and yet in someways he's relatable to us all. A once brilliant athlete in high school, his glory days are long gone and adulthood, full of responsibilities becomes an all together too dreary prospect. So, as the title suggests, he runs, albeit out on his heavily pregnant wife.

This is quite a common phenomenon  and I can kind of sympathise with that notion of impending entrapment that both parties might feel with an upcoming birth. A woman whose body is no longer her own, and a man who only comes to the realisation of how that might impact his life at a space way where it is too late to really back out.

Rabbit runs and finds his old coach and the accommodating Ruth. His self absorption continues and he weaves a path of destruction in all his romantic entanglements. For they are less about romance and more about fending off the monotony of reality. Rarely have the unuttered and unlikeable thoughts that secretly plague us all been so vividly realised. I finished this book in an hour it was engrossing. Our own poor behaviour is acceptable to ourself as we explain it away, and yet our impact on others can be so devastating and never more so than here.

I'm eager to see where the sequels go.

5 out of 5 gritty but engrossing pages fraught with imperfect humans.

The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi

“Dad taught me to flirt with everyone I met, girls and boys alike, and I came to see charm, rather than courtesy or honesty, or even decency, as the primary social grace.”

Clearly a constant fixture on all the editions of the 1001 books you must read before you die for a reason, Kureishi’s The Buddha of Suburbia is at heart an enjoyable, compelling and often transgressive coming of age tale. The recipient of the 1990 Whitbread Award for the best first novel, it centres on seventeen year old Karim, the offspring of an Indian father and English mother (much like the author), the impact of his father’s affair and his resultant attempts to fashion himself as a kind of guru for hire among the smart set frequented by his new lover, Eva. That serves as the launching pad for twisting side tales that will have you engrossed.

Take for instance, the man you can’t have but everyone wants – Charlie; Karim is smitten. It doesn’t help that Charlie is the son of the woman Karim’s father is romantically involved with. He is far more interested in securing international fame than responding to Karim’s crush.

Karim’s cousin and sometimes bed partner is a rather interesting character. The reader feels her constant struggle to reconcile the world around her and that imposed on her by her father. This leads to a rather disastrous arranged marriage which introduces the reader to the delightfully hopeless Changez. He steals the novel for me as a figure of such sadness and schadenfreude. He might be useless in his father in law’s grocery store but don’t let him loose with a sex toy!

There is quite a bit of sex going on in the book and that’s natural given that it is possibly the central preoccupation for a teenager. Sex is fraught with danger and despair here. It drives a wedge in Karim’s family life. It leads to some often hilarious circumstances  and yet to reduce the story to merely its sexual leanings would do the book a disservice. Growing up is all about questioning everything, where is this going, why do my parents act this way, who am I, what do I want? An endless array of questions and that sense of growing curiosity combined with the self obsession of young adulthood is fantastically captured here.
What is particularly remarkable are the aspects that resonate regardless of one's race, upbringing or circumstances there are central human truths about growing up we can all relate to. That sense of the forbidden, the inexplicable, the precociousness of youth is infectious. Life is a glorious mess and that is something this book so beautifully expresses.

 5 out of 5 people have moments where their parents are a source of embarrassment.

Hideous Kinky by Esther Freud

"There was Mum, dragging the stove from John's broken-down van."

Many moons ago, I remember watching the film based on this novel and being utterly captivated by the strange story. The book, for me, was a vastly different and delightful experience. The innocence of the child narrator lends the tale a rather unique point of view. The reader, like the younger sister is trying to understand the behaviour of her mother. The title comes from the girls' favourite words. They are the only words they recall hearing their travelling companion, the stricken Maretta say.

The child's perspective means that circumstances are simply accepted and the reader is forced to draw their own conclusions. Is Julia having  romantic relationship with John (Maretta's husband), is that what leaves Maretta speechless and sickly? The narrator tells us only that "John was Maretta's husband. He had brought her along at the last minute only because, I heard him tell my mother, she wasn't well."

Similarly the succession of love interests and spiritual guides are introduced factually and often we're forced to jump to our own conclusions, an experience very different from the movie which focused on a woman's journey for meaning  and struggle with coming to terms with the requirements of still nurturing her children.

The book leaves us with a sense of the fish out of water sensations that the younger sister is troubled by, her responsiveness to any interest or positivity from other adults and fervent desire for some semblance of normality. We feel her need to escape,  away from nappy stealing neighbours, child beating teachers and the fear that her mother will turn into a fully fledged sufi, leaving  her behind, uneducated and unprotected in a strange land.

Beautifully written, it is no surprise that this novel is on the 1001 novels to read before you die list ( hurrah another one ticked off) and also the Guardian's definitive 1000 novels everyone should read list.

5 out of 5 journeys are different from every perspective.

Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry

"He is profoundly ambivalent, as his prayers show, for when he prays to be reconciled with Yvonne he also prays to be alone, and when he wants to rise he asks that he may sink still lower."

What to say about a novel that took me so long to read ( seriously, 66 days). It felt like forever in any case. The cause of my dilemma, the thick prose- so many words crammed into a page, the drama of work and life and everything in between. It probably was not the best time to embark on a novel about a tortured relationship and the way in which alcohol can take over your life. There were times this month, when I though the action of the book had somehow spilled into reality, but I mopped that up - or at least I think I did.

At first, I wanted to hate this novel. Finishing it was torturous for me. I just needed some light hearted escapism in my life ( hence why I've finished so many Agatha Raisin books in the interim) and yet I persevered. Upon reflection, while it is not an easy book to read, it is expertly realised and I'm still thinking about it days after I'd put it down. I would say that is the reason for its critical acclaim. That and the sense of achievement you get from finishing it & despair at the ending.

It is amazing that the action takes place over such a short period when so much internal and actual drama occurs and that on reflection, is some of its brilliance. "But who could agree with someone who was so certain you were going to be sober the day after to-morrow?". There is no hope for the Consul, his estranged wife can never contemplate the internal struggles, the bargaining that goes on inside his addicted brain and he is doomed. She is such a tragic figure, living and dying on the fumes of what might have been.

If we look around the crazy world of the novel, is it not the crazy world of today? Is the alcoholic, in some ways, a realist, recognising the torment the world is in and reaching for escape  in a bottle? 

I'm not sure; that being said, if this novel didn't lead me to drink, it certainly upped my quotient. Death and destruction under the gaze of the volcanoes Popocatepetl and Ixtaccihuatl, and throw in a whole heap of Mescal for good measure.

4 out of 5 drinks could be your last and the dog's too.

Silence by Shusaku Endo

"Did even Nero of Rome devise such a cruel method of death?"

I am really surprised at how much I enjoyed such a dark and dismal story. If I told you this was a tale about a Jesuit priest in 1640 heading to feudal Japan to support the underground Christians there, you would probably roll your eyes in your head and ask me why would I want to read that. This is such a beautifully written book. It is questioning and dark and deep and gorgeous in the way it highlights cultural differences and the way we should all question our beliefs and motivations. It is quite obtuse and beautiful, like amazing poetry and could be interpreted so many ways.

For some it will no doubt reaffirm blind faith; for others it will do the opposite; and yet both will find the writing thought provoking and amazing. That is a testament to a genius writer.

It will be interesting to see Scorsese's upcoming cinematic interpretation. Frankly, I can't wait.

 5 out of 5 times people were shocked I liked a book about a priest.

The Stranger by Albert Camus

"And something I'd been told came back; a remark made by the nurse at Mother's funeral. No there was no way out and no one can imagine what the evenings are like in prison."

I've seen the novel's title translated as both The Stranger  and The Outsider.  I think the later is the better translation. A riveting read with a daydream like quality despite violence, sex, prison and potential execution.

In today's society of internet trolling and offence there are some truisms here which retain their relevance.

Spoilers follow...

When Meursault fails to display the perceived socially acceptable way of grieving for the death of his mother he sets in place a chain of coincidences which will work against him. Rather that following the normal social queues he appears detached and flees the situation for coffee, sex and cigarettes.

By assisting a less that salubrious friend with girlfriend troubles, he becomes embroiled in a violent altercation that will see him commit murder and lead to his incarceration. The trial is particularly well crafted, as Mersault enjoys the attention, while failing to comprehend his circumstances until it is too late.  

This is one of those rare books that lives up to the hype. It is definitely worth exploring for yourself. I'd like to re-read it in French, as I feel that would add more nuance to the tale.

 5 out of 5 Mersault's choice of coffee, sex and cigarettes leads to the absence of all of the above.

 

The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene

"He was just a fat old impotent man mocked and taunted between the sheets"

As the quote above suggests, and indeed, is common in all Greene's works, the man was an amazing writer, but this for me, is probably my least favourite encounter with him. Perhaps because it deals with the contradictions  between the sacred and the profane inherent in the faithful, which for a non -believer like myself are largely not problematic.

Perhaps also because, my interactions with the runaway Whiskey Priest  on the run from the law were for the most part consumed in quick nips, just like the odd tipple, before bedtime after some crazy 12+ hour days at work and battling the dreaded head cold that went something like sniffle, pain, sniffle, pain, ah the sweet relief of cold and flu medication.

Now that I'm feeling refreshed, perhaps it is time to re-read and see what brought about this novel's prominent position on so many must read lists. At worst, it means I can tick off another entry on the 1001 list - this year I am making  headway!

4 out of 5 for some great shots, but not my favourite long drink.

Morvern Callar by Alan Warner

"Though he was dead I used the air freshener spray"

It is rare that I read something which really shocks me. This was that novel. A typical reaction to discovering your boyfriend has killed himself right next to you, might not be to go get drunk, get high, have random group sex and head off on the equivalent of a Contiki tour while laying claim to the boyfriend's magnum opus.

As dark as things appear there is something quite compelling about the text that will have you reading on.

It is haunting, disturbing and in eliciting such shock and dismay, quite brilliant in its delivery. Having said that it left a bad taste in my mouth, like a really horrid hangover.

4 out of 5  - christmas should not be like this.